How Peer Pressure Can Actually Help Teens Thrive (Backed by Science)
When most parents hear the term peer pressure, they instantly think of danger: bad decisions, risky behavior, and negative influences. And while those concerns are valid and something I think worry about for my kids as I reminisce on some of my teen antics. But what if I told you peer pressure might also be one of your teen’s greatest assets?
I recently read a study that explored how adolescents respond to prosocial (think helping others, sharing, kindness) vs. antisocial peer influence—and the findings are powerful. It turns out, teens are actually more influenced by positive behaviors than negative ones. In other words, they’re more likely to conform to kindness than cruelty. This is a huge discovery that immediately quieted some of my anxiety over the teens years.
Here’s what researchers discovered when adolescents went through either mindfulness training or active skills-based programs:
Teens showed a stronger tendency to follow prosocial peer behavior than antisocial.
After both mindfulness and skills-based training, teens became less influenced by antisocial peer ratings.
No major change was found in how much they followed prosocial influence— remaining consistently strong (thank goodness)
Girls were more likely to resist negative peer pressure than boys.
Older teens and those with higher IQs were less susceptible to peer influence overall.
Again, this is big news for parents and educators because this research flips the fear-based narrative. Peer influence isn’t inherently bad— but it does depend on who is doing the influencing.
Here’s how you can harness this for good:
Invest in social-emotional learning (SEL) at home and in schools. Skills like emotional regulation and self-awareness strengthen teens’ ability to choose positive influences.
Help your teen build peer groups rooted in kindness, inclusion, and integrity. They’re wired to conform to social norms —so help ensure it’s to the right norms by enforcing healthy friendships and peer groups who will influence, strengthen or hinder children’s social and emotional development.
Model the behavior you hope to see. Adolescents are always watching (while pretending not to care) and internalizing our actions into their own.
The adolescents and teen years get a bad rap. But the truth is, they care deeply about doing the right thing, especially when they see others doing it too. Phew!
Let’s shift the narrative. Let’s stop assuming the worst—and start building the kind of environments where positive peer influence can thrive.
✨ Want personalized support?
Parents and educators, if you want to feel more confident supporting your teen (or students) through these tricky years, The Parenting Collaborative offers complimentary 20-minute coaching sessions. Let’s talk about where your child is now, and how to guide them with empathy, strategy, and research-backed tools. 👉Book your free session here
