How Peer Pressure Can Actually Help Teens Thrive (Backed by Science)

Written By Lauren Greeno

When most parents hear the term peer pressure, they instantly think of danger: bad decisions, risky behavior, and negative influences. And while those concerns are valid and something I think worry about for my kids as I reminisce on some of my teen antics. But what if I told you peer pressure might also be one of your teen’s greatest assets?

I recently read a study that explored how adolescents respond to prosocial (think helping others, sharing, kindness) vs. antisocial peer influence—and the findings are powerful. It turns out, teens are actually more influenced by positive behaviors than negative ones. In other words, they’re more likely to conform to kindness than cruelty. This is a huge discovery that immediately quieted some of my anxiety over the teens years.

Here’s what researchers discovered when adolescents went through either mindfulness training or active skills-based programs:

  • Teens showed a stronger tendency to follow prosocial peer behavior than antisocial.

  • After both mindfulness and skills-based training, teens became less influenced by antisocial peer ratings.

  • No major change was found in how much they followed prosocial influence— remaining  consistently strong (thank goodness)

  • Girls were more likely to resist negative peer pressure than boys.

  • Older teens and those with higher IQs were less susceptible to peer influence overall.

Again, this is big news for parents and educators because this research flips the fear-based narrative. Peer influence isn’t inherently bad— but it does depend on who is doing the influencing.

Here’s how you can harness this for good:

  • Invest in social-emotional learning (SEL) at home and in schools. Skills like emotional regulation and self-awareness strengthen teens’ ability to choose positive influences.

  • Help your teen build peer groups rooted in kindness, inclusion, and integrity. They’re wired to conform to social norms —so help ensure it’s to the right norms by enforcing healthy friendships and peer groups who will influence, strengthen or hinder children’s social and emotional development.

  • Model the behavior you hope to see. Adolescents are always watching (while pretending not to care) and internalizing our actions into their own.

The adolescents and teen years get a bad rap. But the truth is, they care deeply about doing the right thing, especially when they see others doing it too. Phew!

Let’s shift the narrative. Let’s stop assuming the worst—and start building the kind of environments where positive peer influence can thrive.

What to do next:

Peer pressure doesn’t have to be the enemy. With the right support, your teen’s natural pull towards peers can become one of their greatest strengths that shape kindness, resilience, and integrity that last into adulthood.

If you want help channeling that influence for good:

The teen years don’t have to feel like a storm. With the right tools, they can be a launchpad for thriving.

References:

Allen, J. P., & Loeb, E. L. (2015). The autonomy–connection challenge in adolescent–peer relationships. Child Development Perspectives, 9(2), 101–105. https://doi.org/10.1111/cdep.12112

Brechwald, W. A., & Prinstein, M. J. (2011). Beyond homophily: A decade of advances in understanding peer influence processes. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 21(1), 166–179. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1532-7795.2010.00721.x

Telzer, E. H., van Hoorn, J., Rogers, C. R., & Do, K. T. (2018). Social influence on positive youth development: A developmental neuroscience perspective. Advances in Child Development and Behavior, 54, 215–258. https://doi.org/10.1016/bs.acdb.2017.10.003

Van Hoorn, J., Crone, E. A., & Van Leijenhorst, L. (2017). Peer influence on prosocial behavior in adolescence. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 27(1), 189–200. https://doi.org/10.1111/jora.12265

Lauren Greeno
Previous

Why Your Child’s Friendships Matter More Than You Think
Next

An Easy Tip For Easily Distracted Children